JAVANESE CULTURE MIX: JAVANESE X ISLAMIC MARRIAGE STYLE

My brother, Rama and his wife, Yurista
Photo By: Aldy Apriyogie

In Indonesia, culture and religion are two important elements in society’s daily life and cannot be separated. In society’s custom, values, and norms, they follow the principal that has been taught in society’s culture and belief. 

Marriage ceremony is one of the event that show how culture and religion combine well in Indonesia society. For Indonesian, especially for Muslims, marriage isn’t only formal ceremony between man and woman who’re going to have new life together, but it’s very important ritual because we swear to the God that two human, different gender is going to live together and start new life. So, it's not just ceremony, but it's religious ritual.

In this “seni budaya” section, I’d like to share about how Javanese marriage style, particularly Solo, mixing with Islamic marriage. I’d take my big brother wedding as an object for this section.

(*Please note that my big brother’s wedding wasn’t use very traditional ritual in Javanese marriage style but it can give you a big view about Javanese marriage style combined with Islamic style)

1. Marriage Settlement (Akad Nikah)

The main event, the most important moment in marriage day is Akad Nikah (Marriage settlement). This is a moment, where the couple are going to officially become husband and wife.

Marriage settlement can be hold in bride’s house, mosque, or married party venue. Marriage settlement must be attended by two witnesses, groom, and marriage guardian. However, in Indonesia, we also must include headman (the representative from Indonesia Religion Court (KUA)) because he’ll note and report to the Court that this couple have officially married and will register to Indonesia government.

Before the groom sit in Ijab Qabul (marriage agreement) place, the groom's family give seserahan (symbolic present from groom's family to bride's family).

Groom family give seserahan (symbolic present) to bride's family

The crucial moment in marriage settlement process is when the marriage guardian (usually bride’s father, but it can be another representative from bride’s family or someone who really trusted) and groom shake their hand, and say Ijab Qabul (marriage agreement) like this:

Marriage Guardian: Mr……… son of ……….. I marry off and I wed off my real daughter

                              ………. To you, with the dowry …………. , in cash!

Groom: I accept her marriage and wedding: ………… daughter of Mr …………  with the

            dowry ………… , in cash!

Ref: http://kuapasarminggu.blogspot.com/2009/04/ijab-qobul-bahasa-inggris.html

Ijab Qabul (Marriage Agreement) process. The groom shake his hand with marriage guardian who actually is bride's father in law
Photo by: Priyanto

After they said marriage agreement, if it’s valid, the marriage witnesses will say “valid”, then the couple is officially and legally married. After that, everyone pray together for new couple to have good life from now.

After pray together, the bride come to groom’s place and sit beside him, and the groom start to read sighat taklik (marriage promise):

“After marriage agreement, I am..................son of Mr. ............I here with promise truthfully that I will fulfill my obligation as a husband, and I will associate my wife named ................................................... daughter of Mr. ..................................................... kindly ( mu’asyarah bil ma’rufi ) according to the teaching of Islamic religion.

Furthermore, I read this sighat taklik for my wife mentioned as follows:

Anytime:

1. I leave my wife two years continuously 

2. Or I do not give compulsory basic necessities of life three months long;

3. Or I hurt my wife’s body / physic;

4. Or I neglect / I do not care my wife for six months long.

Then my wife is not willing and my wife complains about her matter to the Religious Court and her complains is accepted by the court, and my wife pays money in the amount of Rp. 10.000,- ( ten thousand rupiahs) as 'iwadh ( substitute) to me, then falls my once divorce to her.

To the court mentioned I authorize to receive the substitute money and then to hand over it for the need of social devotion.

(City Name), (Date of Marriage settlement)

Husband “

Ref: http://kuapasarminggu.blogspot.com/2009/07/sighat-talik-bahasa-inggris.html

The groom was reading marriage promise

After that, they did sungkeman which means worship to both groom’s and bride’s parents to gratitude for everything they’ve done to raise them until they get married and apologize for their misbehavior. The parents tell their truth feeling and love to their son / daughter and give message for them in order to have good life together with their spouse. This is one of the emotional moment in Javanese marriage style because parents and children share their feeling and love each other. That’s why both children and parents can cry in this moment.

The bride did Sungkeman to her parents
Photo By: Priyanto

The groom did Sungkeman to his parents
Photo by: Priyanto

 2. Marriage Party

Fiiuuuhhhh, after all marriage process finished, and it's time to party YEEEAAAAYYY!!!!

Since this is Javanese marriage style, the party will conduct with Javanese style. However, once again I remind you that my big brother’s wedding isn’t conduct with 100% Javanese traditional style, so it’s like “semi Javanese style” but I can give you big picture how Javanese people conduct wedding party.

For the wedding costume, the bride wear Solo traditional cloth called Kebaya Putri Solo, and the groom wear Beskap but different type from the marriage settlement one.

Solo Traditional Cloth for wedding: Kebaya Putri Solo

Solo Traiditonal Cloth for wedding: Beskap Solo

Then, the bride go first to wedding aisle, waiting for the groom who will come to her later. The groom alongside with his family come to bride place and welcomed by representative from bride’s family. Both representative family from groom and bride family give marriage speech before the groom go to wedding aisle.

The bride is waiting for the groom in wedding aisle

The Groom come to Bride place and representative of groom's family give short speech to the bride's family
Photo by: Priyanto

The representative from bride's family give welcome speech to groom's family
Photo by: Priyanto

After speech from representative families, the bride come to pick up the groom, hold his hand, and go to wedding aisle together with their parents. The couple do sungkeman again to their parents before they sit in their sofa. 

Another Sungkeman to bride's parents in Wedding Party
Photo by: Priyanto

Sungkeman to groom's parents
Photo by: Priyanto

The couple sit in the middle, the parents are sitting in the right and left side of couple’s sofa. Then, all the guests can go to wedding aisle, and congratulate the couple and taking picture. In Indonesia wedding, people love to taking picture, so be prepared if you married with Indonesian, make sure your smile stay cool. Another interesting part in wedding party is food. Moreover, there are many type of food in there, it's free 😁😁, and of course delicious.

In Javanese Marriage Style, the food is delivered by marriage staffs. The foods usually are Solo oriental food

Family Picture in Wedding Party

 Well, that’s all how Javanese marriage style combining with Islamic style. It’s quite long process, but it’s fun because I can have a good time with my brother’s wife family. Family connection is important in Indonesia society, so that marriage process is one of the best way to build family connection.

Don’t forget to watch “Javanese x Islamic Marriage Style” in audi26tv YouTube channel. Critics and feedbacks are very welcome.